Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
