You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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