Just cropdusted the office
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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