Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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