for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
