Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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