I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
