I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
