my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
