She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
