You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
