is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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