she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
