therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize