Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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