I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
