Got a toothbrush?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
