He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I want a musical about memes.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize