remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
