I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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