dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
ok first of all what the fuck
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