I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
