wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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