in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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