the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
