so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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