I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
