What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
