I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
