I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
