Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
