I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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