Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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