I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
