Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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