you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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