I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
whose parrot is this?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
