We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
