I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
