If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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