yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
