Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize