ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
