And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize