You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
