I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
