So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
