Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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