I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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