You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
