Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize