I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just had sex on a roof
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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