walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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