Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Come on in and take your pants off
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