I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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