Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I need water and some morals
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
