My balls are so social today.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
