reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
