just come out here and I will go home with you...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize