PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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